In the effort to get men to stop raping, most activists and practitioners have settled for getting men to get other men to stop raping.  This, of course, helped avoid the old “man-hating” charge we faced when we tried to discuss how aggressive male heterosexuality had been normalized in our rape culture.  It’s so much easier to celebrate an idea of masculinity that does the right thing.  Celebrating the majority of men avoids imposing guilt and might explain why this video, dramatizing a group of eight male bystanders who stop two men from assaulting a woman, has gone viral:

Yes, we know.  We, too, wanted her to drop her books, put up her hands, yell, and run.  And we’re not convinced that “every religion protect women” or that “protecting women is religion.”  We also wondered how a woman in that situation would ever be assured that the other men encircling her don’t also mean to do her harm.  Of course, our version of this video would not go viral. (Nothing of ours goes viral.)

The video is a perfect example of the current strategy to tell men that good, masculine, and truly religious men do not rape; and it’s the men who fail to follow these norms who disrespect and attack women.  But as U. of So. Cal. Prof. Michael A. Messner points out in his new Gender & Society article, the effort to change rape culture by framing the problem as one of a few bad apples is a major break from the feminist movement that challenged rape to begin with.  As Messner puts it, in the 1970s feminist women and pro-feminist men thought that

“. . . successfully ending violence against women would involve not simply removing a few bad apples from an otherwise fine basket of fruit. Rather, working to stop violence against women meant overturning the entire basket: challenging the institutional inequalities between women and men, raising boys differently, and transforming in more peaceful and egalitarian directions the normative definition of manhood. Stopping men’s violence against women, in other words, was now seen as part of a larger effort at revolutionizing gender relations.”

As Messner points out, the institutionalization and professionalization of anti-rape work since that time has led us to embrace a health model of rape prevention, which has medicalized the problem of sexual violence–and thereby, at least in some ways, de-politicized it.

This “rebranding” of anti-rape work, Messner says, re-individualizes the problem of rape and appeals to men’s sense of masculine honor and strength.

And, to Messner’s analysis, we would add that, as we pointed out in our Trauma, Violence & Abuse article, the strategy to teach good men that their role is to be intervening bystanders when bad men assault women also positions women as inherently helpless damsels in distress, and men as their knights in shining armor–solidifying one of the central myths of the rape culture we’re trying to dismantle.

Some advocates doing anti-rape work are aware of these tensions.  Seeking to link structural injustices to incidents of sexual violence, for Messner, is the way forward.  We think this also offers insight into how to avoid the charge that self-defense is an individualized, de-politicized solution to rape.  For when a woman claims an entitlement to defend herself, she is insisting on challenging embodied gender roles and fighting structural injustice. When Jane fights back, Jane’s making one small kick for woman, but one giant kick for womankind.  We know Jane can fight back.  We’d like to see that go viral.

The wonderful people at WordPress offer statistics to bloggers like us, and bloggers like us use the site’s administrative functions to see how many people have clicked on which blog posts, how many shares on Facebook a post on our site got, etc.  For instance, in 2015 See Jane Fight Back made 45 posts that enjoyed nearly 10,000 views from visitors across 109 countries.  Most people got to the blog from Facebook or Twitter.

One thing people might not realize is that WordPress also tracks the Internet search terms that landed someone on our blog.  As it turns out, given the contents of a blog on women’s self-defense, some who land here at Château Jane were actually looking for sex videos involving rape and girls fighting, the grabbing of testicles, and sometimes simply “hot slutty Jane”.

So, although we may have disappointed those Internet surfers by failing to provide an eroticized Jane or testicle grabbing, we like to think these folks got a little taste of the way in which women use self-defense to refuse the position of sexual object for men’s pleasure, and to have sex on the terms they consent to.  That’s our fantasy.

 

Any advocate of self-defense training could tell you that the skills they learn in self-defense are useful in daily life for taking oneself seriously, being aware of one’s surroundings, and setting boundaries in situations that are more common than assaults.

With all the recent talk on “microaggressions” it might be tempting to think that self-defense training would make you into that person who turns every little microaggression into a federal case.  Not so.  For complaints about microaggressions are typically complaints to a third party.  On a college campus, for instance, that third party could be a dean, a Title IX coordinator, or an Equity Office director.

Prof. Bradley Campbell, a Cal State-Los Angeles sociologist interviewed on public radio’s “Here and Now” show discusses his study of microaggression complaints and the moral status afforded to victims in today’s society:

“These microaggression complaints – what characterizes them is that they are appeals to third parties. They’re not something like vengeance where people just take direct action against the offender. Secondly, they’re complaints about minor things, which is what the ‘micro’ in microaggression means. And then also that these – the complaints – are about specific kinds of things. It’s not just any minor offense, it’s things that are said to further oppression, and mainly the oppression of minority groups. So we thought about like when do these things occur? So some of the social conditions we mentioned were things like, you know, the presence of authority and also the demise of communal groups. But one of the main things is actually the increase in diversity and equality. So it’s in settings where there’s already a lot of equality and diversity that you get these kinds of complaints.”

Complaints about microaggressions are actually more common where equality and diversity thrive.  A college campus is a perfect example.

We are not suggesting that sexual assault is a microaggression; let’s make explicit that we’d put that in a MACRO aggression category. But we are suggesting that Campbell’s insights about not handling microaggressions oneself, but instead relying on third parties to handle, offers some insight into the continued resistance to advocating that women defend themselves.  If we must rely on third parties to handle even microaggressions, then why would anyone consider training women to be prepared to handle larger ones?  Given that the victims of microaggressions are reporting the incidences to third parties, it is hardly surprising that campus rape prevention strategies typically emphasize reporting the incident and asking third parties–bystanders–to intervene.

Self-defense training prepares one to manage major and minor aggressions, both verbal and physical, and in a way that does not require third-party intervention.  It allows for agency while simultaneously acknowledging the experience, and impact, of violence and oppression, without necessarily requiring a culture of victimhood that positions women’s vulnerability as a moral high ground, and denies women their right to self-defense.

 

 

 

We know. We know. In the U.S., Halloween (chocolate!) and Thanksgiving (mashed potatoes!) preface winter holidays (cookies, pies, and cakes!) culminating in a liquor-soaked, buckets-full-of-popcorn, calorie non-counting extravaganza that we vow to turn around in the new year. Perhaps our self-defense message will reach more girls and women if it’s a new diet & exercise fad! Here you go.*

*This plan is not endorsed by any medical, fitness, or nutrition authorities.

Jane’s Self-Defense Diet and Fitness Plan for 2016

Diet:  The holidays are the time to indulge, but that doesn’t mean depriving yourself as of January 1.  Eat healthy, but happy!  Lots of protein, fruits, and vegetables, but carbs and treats in moderation are fine, too.  The body type of 2016 is strong and powerful, not weak and emaciated.  Ditch the diets – they don’t work, and they make us cranky.  Instead…

Focus on Fitness, with Jane’s Seven-Day Plan!

Day 1.  Firm your legs practicing round-house and ax kicks.

Day 2.  Tone your waistline and butt by doing stairs, two at a time, which is the EXACT motion for a highly effective knee-to-the-groin.

Day 3. Get those great ripped looking arms by practicing your elbow throws, eye jabs, and heel palms strikes.

Day 4. Get heart-healthy by fast-walking or running after stomping on an object. Shouting “NO!” and “911!” after you get to your destination improves lung capacity.

Day 5. Work those hips with arches!  Lie on your back, plant your heels, and thrust upward, fast and furious, first to one side, then the other. Improve flexibility and practice tossing off an attacker at the same time!

Day 6. Mindfulness – everyone’s doing it, and Jane is too!  Awareness is key – notice what’s around you, and practice focusing your attention – what are your instincts telling you?  Where is safety?  No judgment – notice, and go with your gut.

Day 7.  This is a day of rest and reflection. Think about and be thankful for what a bad-ass you’re becoming.  Oh yes, this is going to impact many aspects of your life. Claim it, baby.

Forget those fashion trends known as off-duty model, glamorous lounging, or heroine chic.  They only exploit women’s insecurities.  Now empowerment chic is in. Given how “femvertising” has taken off, we’re surprised that no one has thought of a fashion line in accordance. Geez, do we have to do everything around here?!

We present you with 10 trends and ways to wear them. We have also taken the liberty of selecting our ideal celebs likely to adopt each look. You can click the links or the pictures to see the look more clearly on a new page.

   

1. Weekend Warrior (Man Repeller fashion blogger Leandra Medine)
2. Go-Forth Granny (designer/model Iris Apfel)
3. Suffragette Sleek (teen fashion blogger Justine Crawford
4. Gonna Git You Sucka Casual (singer Tina Turner)
5. Empowerment-is-the-New-Black (activist/author Gloria Steinem)
6. Off-Duty Cop (comedian Whoopi Goldberg)
7. Slut Walking Slick (comedian Amy Schumer)
8. Sobriety Chic (not a waif? not on drugs? this might be the look for you!) (producer/actor Lena Dunham)
9. Third-Wave Trendsetter (Instagram fashion guru Eva Chen)
10. Underwear-as-Outwear-as-Fuckyouwear (singer Lady Gaga)

After all, what is fashion (or blogging) without a faith in the improbable?

1. Check our breasts for suspicious lumps
2. Wear seat belts in automobiles
3. Avoid swimming in shark-infested waters
4. Wear a heart monitor
5. Get our teeth cleaned
6. Have our cholesterol checked
7. Take vitamins
8. Get a pap smear
9. Install anti-virus programs on our computer
10. Lock our doors
11. Install an alarm system
12. Put safety lights on our bicycle
13. Wear a fluorescent vest while jogging at night
14. Drive with our headlights on
15. Carry an umbrella
16. Wear a winter coat
17. Wash hands to avoid getting the flu
18. When we see a raccoon in our garage awake in the middle of the day, with mouth foaming, do not pet it; instead call a neighbor who grew up in the country to come over and “take care of it”
19. Tell our mother-in-law that we would love to spend the holiday at her cabin just to save ourself an argument
20. Use birth control to prevent pregnancy

 

Dear See Jane Fight Back:

I object to your list of 20 ways women participate in victim blaming because some of those things are useful things any reasonable and responsible person—male or female—should do. For instance, many of us take vitamins and get our teeth cleaned. We also feel perfectly entitled to blame people who eat chili cheese fries whilst forgetting to take their Lipitor^®.

However, I can agree to items 3, 9 10, and 11 on the grounds that those things involve other people whose behavior should be better controlled by their parents, the government, or the criminal justice system. Let’s arrest people who throw chum in the water when fishing off ocean piers. Let’s prevent burglaries so locking doors and home alarm systems aren’t necessary. Let’s show hackers that we shouldn’t have to protect our files and our hard drives from their malicious plans. We have a right to swim wear we want, compute how we want, and live without fear of burglary. In fact, I’m going to leave my unprotected computer in my unlocked house right now while I go jump off the fishing pier for a swim. In the dark. And I’ve just had a huge plate of chili cheese fries (and my Lipotor^®)!  Now this is true empowerment.

Yours,

Etc.

Every Girl down in Girlville

Believed she could fight

It made them feel empowered

It seemed like a right

It was something important they valued a lot

But the Grinch, at the CDC in Atlanta, did NOT!

 

He hated that women could learn how to fight

He hated that women

Did not need his oversight!

He hated that fighting was not just for guys,

He hated that fighting wasn’t driven by size.

Now please don’t ask the reasons, no one knows the whys.

 

It could be that his funding was a little too tight

Or that his head wasn’t screwed on just right.

 

But whatever the reason, his thinking or his monies,

The Grinch fumed in Atlanta at those feminist honeys

Who taught women to yell and to become empowered

They’d see those who crossed them’d be thoroughly devoured.

 

“They’ll have sex just when they want to!

They’ll enforce their own boundaries!

They’ll stop sexual assailants!”

Oh, the Grinch, he was foundering.

 

And the more that the Grinch thought, his heart growing cold

The more he hated self-defense and women all bold.

“They’ll insist they can resist and not do as they’re told!

 

This was all just keeping a set gender chasm.

The Grinch’s frail ego was starting to spasm,

“It’s as though they can act with their own damn intention!

It’s destroying the idea of bystander intervention!”

 

So the Grinch thus declared, with a determined sneer,

“I must stop women from fighting this year!”

 

And then the Grinch got a plan that was terribly grinchy

Terribly, status-quo awfully grinchy.

 

He’d dress like a bystander and take all their might.

The knights, they would win, ‘coz the damsels shouldn’t fight.   

 

So off on his mission the Grinch quickly went

To save girls from themselves, with cis-gendered intent

From shelter to campus

From campus to class

The Grinch stole self-defense classes

There’d be no kicking ass!

 

He stole all their kick shields,

Unplugged all Nordic Tracks.

He took punching bags and focus pads

And just left the Rape-Axe.

 

He slithered and slunk through all-women dojos

The sensei was out, or she’d have dispatched him solo.

 

He got stuck only once, for a minute, just when

He stole self-defense data from the desk of Biden

In the VP’s own office, he mimicked Joe’s patter

“We don’t need self-defense, only bystanders matter!”

 

Two thousand feet up, right up Sawnee Mountain

The Grinch took equipment and data – discounting

The spirt of Girls down in Girlville who knew

Their empowerment wasn’t his call to eschew

 

“How scared they’ll all be,” he smugly thought to himself

“They’ll need rescuing now, they’ll need help from myself.

They can’t do it without me! And now that it’s clear

Their plaintive help cries I just simply must hear”.

 

But as the Grinch dangled his takings over the crevasse below

He heard, down in Girlville, a resounding “NO!”

 

Every Girl down in Girlville, the tall and the small

Could still fight–and without his approval at all!

 

“No, you won’t take our power, whether Grinch or White House

We’ll continue to fight – it’s our right, you big louse.”

 

Because the Girls in Girlville knew what the Grinch thought he’d win

Fighting spirit is something that comes from within.

 

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice cold in the snow

Stood puzzling and puzzling – how coud it be so?

He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before.

 

“Maybe safety,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a vow

Or a pledge or a poster or website – and now…

I see that while bystanders might still have their place

So too can girls make safe their own space.”

 

“Maybe safety,” he thought, “should be theirs for the taking

“not something to wait for me and boys to be making.”

 

And what happened then?

Well in Girlville, they say

The Grinch read all the data and for self-defense, made way

 

And then the true meaing of safety came through

And the Grinch called his colleagues, and told them that, too.

 

And all those with funding, all those with clout

Embraced self-defense training, putting aside all their doubt.

 

They returned the equipment, they shared all the data

They finally saw self-defense training was better

Better than waiting for changes to land

Better than hoping that help was at hand

Better because, while those things might be coming

The Girls down in Girlville would send the rapists running.

 

And with this new knowledge, they reminded them all

All those in rape prevention, the tall and the small,

That self-defense training wasn’t something awful

But was something to foster, and cheer, after all.

 

–The End–

Wishing you an empowering start to the holiday season –

Jill and Martha